Endurance in all things

So I ran my first race yesterday. A couple friends and I signed up for Race for the Cure, a 5K to support research for Breast Cancer Awareness. So there we were, in downtown Lexington, with a slight drizzle over us, and thousands of people all around us. There were old men, sorority girls, children, dogs and soccer moms. The buzzer went off, and because we were somewhere in the middle, the first 45 seconds were spent slowly walking until we could make it to the sidewalk. Jen and I started running at a decent pace, and I was so proud of myself as I passed the walkers and slow joggers. I smiled at the three college students playing tag amidst the race and started concentrating on my breathing. As we came up on the first mile marker, I felt my body slowing down. So soon!? I couldn't do it. My goal was to run the first two miles, and I barely made it past the first mile. For the last two miles I walked/ran. Even though I finished in under 40 minutes, I was pretty disappointed in myself. I really felt like I had more endurance than that.

And it got me thinking, in what other areas in my life is endurance lacking? I am still in school - so I seem to be doing well in that area. I have committed myself to finishing my education. There are times that I wish I could just withdraw and enjoy life without papers and required reading. But, the end goal is to finish with an education that will better equip me for ministry, wherever that may be. With my friends, I feel like I am pretty good about keeping in touch. Granted, this semester has been a little harder than others, but typically I pretty much know who is where, who had babies or got married, etc. When I make a friend, I have a friend for a lifetime. The endurance it takes in maintaining a friendship is worth the time and effort. And there is no doubt that when it comes to work I run the long race. The plus overtime that I pull nearly every week, even after two years, is proof that I am in this job for the long haul. (well, at least till I graduate...which seems to be a long haul! =) Where I thinking I am lacking endurance is much more personal than what can be recorded by a grade or a paycheck. When it comes to dating, we all know that I have not quite mastered the game. =) Sure I've gone out on plenty of dates, and there have even been a few potentials. But when it comes down to the relationship stuff, I fall short. My friend Tripp commented the other night, "How is it that you are so good at being single?" To which my reply was, "Well, anything you do for 24 years you had better be good at!" Then he asked me something that struck me, "Aren't you afraid that when you actually have a relationship, that you aren't going to know what to do? I mean, we all know your semi-fear of committment, so how do you think you would actually handle dating someone?" Well dang, as if it were enough for me to worry about finding a guy, now I have to worry about keeping him!? But what he said was true - since I haven't ever really dated, I am afraid that given the opportunity, I wouldn't know how to handle. I have turned down my share (and then some) of marriage proposals, what if, when a good guy actually comes around, I am so comfortable being single that I don't risk the relationship? What if I don't have the endurance to make it work? Silly fears maybe, but for someone who wants a family one day, they plague me. And it isn't really like running or studying, it isn't something that you can build up to really. With running I started jogging, timing myself, adding distance every week. With school I sit down and read and study and write papers. But how do you improve dating!?