Its not fair!

No, its not fair - its Grace. In church today we talked about the parable of the gracious vineyard owner who went out and hired workers at the beginning of the day. (Matthew 20) He offered to pay them a full day's wage for twelve hours of work and they agreed. Then, throughout the day, he went back five times and hired more workers, saying he would pay them what he thought they deserved. The last crew he hired at the 11th hour! When the day was over, he lined them up to pay them, starting with the most recent hired. He paid them a full day's wage. When he got down to the original group, they thought for sure that they would earn double for all of their hard work. But the owner paid them a day's wage - just like everyone else. The people were outraged!! "How can you pay us all the same, when some only worked an hour, and others of us slaved away in the scoring heat all day!?!" they protested. But the owner looked at them and said, "Did I not give you when we agreed upon? Are you angry at me because I am gracious to others? Or are you only angry because it does not benefit you more?" Slap! Basically - stop your whining! Not that I blame them. There are days at work when I have been on my feet for twelve hours - waiting on the impossible, and cleaning up after the messy, only to make half of what one lucky dog makes off two generous tables in two hours. It happened just the other day. I had worked a double and barely made $70 - while Tommy came in at 5:30 and made $65 off ONE table! I wanted to be happy for his sake, but I was upset because I felt like I had put in more time, therefore, I deserved more!! But...God tells us that this is not how grace works. Grace is for everyone. For the lazy, the ambitious, the silly, the lonely, the wrong and the wronged. It is so much easier to accept grace for ourselves than it is to watch others that we don't think deserve it have it lavished upon them. When Jesus was on the cross, the thief next to him asked for Jesus to remember him - and what did Jesus say? "I'm sorry - you stole from someone and wrecked their lives. You are getting what you deserve - sorry. Should've thought about one before, huh buddy?" NO!! Even in his most painful and vulnerable moment, Jesus extended grace. Was that fair to the young couple standing in the crowd, watching the man who had stolen from them and destoryed their sense of security "get what he deserved"? No. But then again, God never claimed that grace was fair. If it were fair, it wouldn't be good. If we had to earn grace, well, we wouldn't. Because we know that "we have all fallen short of the glory of God," - but His grace is sufficent enough to cover us all. Trust me, we don't want a "wage-earning relationship" with Christ - that will just leave us poor and broken.

Grace may be unfair, and it may tick us off sometimes. But we aren't calling the shots. God's grace is a Grace that offends. But, thankfully so - because there are times when we need that same kind of grace. I loved my pastor's defination of grace this morning: "Grace. Grace is the free, undeserved, INEXHAUSTIBLE love and favor given to unworthy and undeserving people!!"

"Hallalujah. Grace like rain falls down on me. Hallalujah. All my stains are washed away. T'was grace that taught my heart to fear. And grace my fears relieved. How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed. Hallalujah. Grace like rain falls down on me." - (Todd Agnew)

So no, it's not fair - it is Grace.

Endurance in all things

So I ran my first race yesterday. A couple friends and I signed up for Race for the Cure, a 5K to support research for Breast Cancer Awareness. So there we were, in downtown Lexington, with a slight drizzle over us, and thousands of people all around us. There were old men, sorority girls, children, dogs and soccer moms. The buzzer went off, and because we were somewhere in the middle, the first 45 seconds were spent slowly walking until we could make it to the sidewalk. Jen and I started running at a decent pace, and I was so proud of myself as I passed the walkers and slow joggers. I smiled at the three college students playing tag amidst the race and started concentrating on my breathing. As we came up on the first mile marker, I felt my body slowing down. So soon!? I couldn't do it. My goal was to run the first two miles, and I barely made it past the first mile. For the last two miles I walked/ran. Even though I finished in under 40 minutes, I was pretty disappointed in myself. I really felt like I had more endurance than that.

And it got me thinking, in what other areas in my life is endurance lacking? I am still in school - so I seem to be doing well in that area. I have committed myself to finishing my education. There are times that I wish I could just withdraw and enjoy life without papers and required reading. But, the end goal is to finish with an education that will better equip me for ministry, wherever that may be. With my friends, I feel like I am pretty good about keeping in touch. Granted, this semester has been a little harder than others, but typically I pretty much know who is where, who had babies or got married, etc. When I make a friend, I have a friend for a lifetime. The endurance it takes in maintaining a friendship is worth the time and effort. And there is no doubt that when it comes to work I run the long race. The plus overtime that I pull nearly every week, even after two years, is proof that I am in this job for the long haul. (well, at least till I graduate...which seems to be a long haul! =) Where I thinking I am lacking endurance is much more personal than what can be recorded by a grade or a paycheck. When it comes to dating, we all know that I have not quite mastered the game. =) Sure I've gone out on plenty of dates, and there have even been a few potentials. But when it comes down to the relationship stuff, I fall short. My friend Tripp commented the other night, "How is it that you are so good at being single?" To which my reply was, "Well, anything you do for 24 years you had better be good at!" Then he asked me something that struck me, "Aren't you afraid that when you actually have a relationship, that you aren't going to know what to do? I mean, we all know your semi-fear of committment, so how do you think you would actually handle dating someone?" Well dang, as if it were enough for me to worry about finding a guy, now I have to worry about keeping him!? But what he said was true - since I haven't ever really dated, I am afraid that given the opportunity, I wouldn't know how to handle. I have turned down my share (and then some) of marriage proposals, what if, when a good guy actually comes around, I am so comfortable being single that I don't risk the relationship? What if I don't have the endurance to make it work? Silly fears maybe, but for someone who wants a family one day, they plague me. And it isn't really like running or studying, it isn't something that you can build up to really. With running I started jogging, timing myself, adding distance every week. With school I sit down and read and study and write papers. But how do you improve dating!?

Grace

The service in church last week was entitled Living a Life of Grace. Just the word "Grace" stirs my heart. There is so much that grace covers that I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it. Last Sunday was also the last day in our old building. The church moved to another building today, moving out of the old car repair shop they have been occupying for the last 6 years into a building that can accommedate the growing seekers. Sitting in that service, surrounded by people I haven't yet met, listening to the stories of how God has shown His Grace in and through this church over the last 6 years brought me to tears. I am not worried about my own sins not being covered by Grace - I know they are, I am confident in my place in God's heart. But yet I am constantly amazed at the POWER of God's Grace - it transforms lives! I sat there and watched more people than I could count come to Christ for the FIRST TIME - because of how amazed they were by God's Grace! Around the room there were candles lit for every life changed forever by Grace in the last 6 years through this church. The 835 candles created such a glow that they didn't need lights, and such a warmth that the air conditioner couldn't keep up. It was so powerful. At the end of the service they had a board on the stage with a layout of the new worship room at the new church. There are 1,000 chairs in the room, and we were given an opportunity to give a "chair offering" - to buy a chair in the name of people we want to see come to Christ. I have been praying about my chair offering for a couple of weeks. As I took my meager Roma's earnings up there, with Todd Agnew's "Grace Like Rain" rocking in the background, I had to surpress the overwhelming urge to just weep, right there in line. I was given a card to put the names on, and a star to place on the chair. I wrote down two names that are very dear to my heart, and with trembling hands placed their star on a chair that one day I hope they occupy. If God's Grace can humble my heart - I know it can work in their hearts as well. I want SO MUCH to be a part of that! I want to see the transformation - I want to see the awe on their faces as they come to realize HOW MUCH God loves them, and how Grace is for them. I just cannont help but be overwhelmed, even now, here, typing this out. The cry of my heart is to share this Grace!

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, because the Lord has appointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to announce that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord's favor has come." - Isaiah 60:1-2

There is a line in an Andrew Peterson song, "We'll see how the tears that have fallen were caught in the palms of the Giver of love and the Lover of all." The tears that I couldn't contain that day I know fell into the palm of a Gracious God - whose heart breaks for same people for whom mine breaks. The palm that catches my tears, is the same one that tenderly places this yearning in my heart. To know that I have been touched by His Grace....wow.

Hank

Meet Hank everyone!! We got to bring him home today!! Abbey wasn't sure at first what she thought, but she is quickly getting used to another playmate. He is 11-weeks old.

5k

So, I think that I may have gotten myself in a little over my head. Just a little. As you may, or probably don't, know, I have recently taken up running. God knows why, but I have. What some may call a pathetic attempt at an otherwise speedy sport, I have taken my time (two months to be exact) to build up to the 12-minute mile!! And I am pretty proud of myself, considering that before, the only thing that would have motivated me to run was someone chasing me. Well, I should have learned to keep my big mouth shut. I was talking about running at work to my friend Kris, and next thing I know, his girlfriend Jen is signing us up for a 5k run on September 17th. Are you kidding me!?! You mean I have two weeks to add another 2.1 miles to my already hard-enough-mile?! I think I just might die.

The only thing that is keeping me in this race (other than pride), is the benefit. All monies raised for this race (yes, someone is even sponsoring me, can you believe it!?!) will go towards Breast Cancer Research - a very noble cause I might add. (for more information, go to www.raceforthecure.com ) So, even if I fall flat on my face from sheer exhaustion (which is a very real possibility), I will fall knowing I am helping a great cause. My own grandmother is a breast cancer survivor - so when I start my run early that Saturday morning, I will run with her face in my mind. To know that more research means more hope for people like my grandmother is a great inspiration.

So why don't you join me? There are races going on all over the country!! And the best part is, you don't have to be crazy like me and attempt to run. You can walk for the cause, or even sleep in for the cause!! What they need the most is your support. So be sure to check out the details. As their own slogan says, "Run. Walk. Get inspired. Get involved... and make a difference."