The Life of a Bartending Seminarian

"I'm learning to surrender; I'm learning to forgive; I'm learning to recieve all the love; All the love You have for me." ~ Isa Couvertier

Sunday, November 26, 2006

I'm Thankful for:

We have been talking in my LifeGroup about the amazing ways that God works. My pastor gave this image of God putting things in our left hand things that we have entrusted to Him and He had done for us. Miracles if you will. In our right hands we are holding things that we are yet to turn over to Him, yet to release our hold on. But we are called to live in the light of the left hand, the amazing works God has done, trusting that we can move the things from our right hand to our left and He will be faithful. Sometimes it is fun to see the ways that He accomplishes the things we didn't even know were possible. So, in recognition of the season, here are just a few of the things in my left hand from this year so far. Some are HUGE and some may seem trivial, but it just shows how much God loves to love us.

*Financial provision for the most expensive semester yet
*Not ever getting lost on the subway in NYC
*God providing companionship and comfort in the lonely times this summer
*Being released from being the one friends depend on in an unhealthy manner
*Kris coming to church
*Getting to see my Grandmother again
*Finally relating to my sister in a way that is not judgemental or overprotective
*Entering into a community that helps me to grow
*Giving up my banner of Independence for dependence on Christ
*Convincing my roommate that Christmas lights go up AFTER Thanksgiving
*Stephanie is having a baby!
*Teaching Hank and Abbey to shake at the same time
*Thanksgiving dinner going off without a hitch

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Fungus

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Memories of a Calling

So, two different topics have been very prevelant the last couple of weeks. They seem to keep popping up everywhere. The first is Calling. We talk about a lot in my classes, which makes sense considering I am in seminary. But issues and aspects of my calling have also come into play within conversations in my small group, as well as individual meetings I have had with my life group leader. It is fun and painful all at the same time to take a step back and look at the forming of my call. There have been situations in my life, tragic situations, that have molded me, shaped my leadership abilities and defined how I face reality. There have also been wonderful experiences, trips overseas, amazing conversations, when I have felt the Hand of God leading to a particular area.

The other thing that has been on the forefront lately is my grandmother. She is very ill right now. I am actually going home on Friday to be with family and gather around her, as a time to formally say goodbye. I am so very grateful for this time, and for the support of family. I know that no matter when she passes, this weekend will be precious. As is natural when you lose, or are losing, someone you love, memories come out of nowhere. And I have such amazing memories of my grandmother. She has traveled all around the world, raised four children, spoiled ten grandchildren and four great-children, held random jobs that one would never expect from their grandmother (really - an lingerie model!?) And to boot, she is a story-teller. As much as each member of the family rolls their eyes at having to listen to the same story for the ten millionth time, the stories of her and Brother, of times in the War, of her travels, are ingrained in us now.

So, to honor her, I want to share a story. About how my grandmother has shaped my Call. I was probably 13 or 14 years old, not old enough to drive, but old enough to hold an opinion. Our church had just recieved its first female pastor, Louie. There was an obvious buzz about the church, "Was this right? Was this holy? What exactly did a woman pastor DO anyway?" One afternoon my grandmother had come to pick me up and take me to church. It was a rare time when it was just she and I together, and I loved the conversations we would share. But as I got in the car that day, I didn't expect the question she would throw at me that would rattle my very foundation. "So, what do you think of Pastor Louie?" I calmly replied with oblivious determination, "I think its wrong. I don't think women should be leaders in the Church." Well, this launched my grandmother into revealing Biblical Truths about how women were not only worthy to be in ministry, but were MADE for it. She questioned my foundations, and I couldn't be more grateful. They were built upon shakey foundations of limited experience, not Biblical reasoning. I realized that I didn't think women should be ordained because I had never been under that type of leadership, and the only voices I heard growing up where that was the way it should be. But when Louie came, the voices changed. I am proud to say that my church entered into this time with earnest prayer and open minds and hearts, and the result was a welcoming of a wonderful pastor, who happened to be a woman. Over her years ministering in our church, Louie was a huge gift in the life of my grandmother. When my grandfather got sick, and he had to recieve special care, and all the focus was on him, Louie was there alongside my grandmother, caring for her. When my gradfather passed, Louie was among the first to gather with my family, praying over and with us. I am so thankful to my grandmother for opening my eyes to a new possibility. Her wisdom and her discernment was something that was passed down. Because of her helping me in my faith, those moments in the car served as an ushering in of the beginning of my Call into ministry.