Hurt

First off, sorry to be so disconnected here lately. I feel like a puppet whose strings are being pulled in four different directions. (see previous posts) One of these days I'm lible to lose a wooden limb.














So let me just jump right in by telling you what is on my heart. What has been on my heart lately: people. Hurting people in particular. I have a friend who, out of respect for his privacy, I will call "J." For the past five months I have been walking alongside of him in the greatest trial of his life. I am not really sure why I was chosen to be this person, the listener, the comforter; but it is a reality I have humbly accepted. This situation is one like I have never experienced. I have had friends go through hard times before. I have played this role with them before. But never before have I felt another's hurt so deeply. I feel like I have internalized his pain, taken on his burden, in a way that causes me to hurt with him in such a deep way that I have rarely felt, even in my own pain. (and let me remind you here, I am an empathizer at heart) There have been times of weeping over him and for him. There was one night in particular when my prayer time for him failed to produce anymore words - only groanings in my spirit. There was such a call to intercession for him that I didn't have to have the words to pray, the Lord was directing my prayers and visions for him. That night the Lord used my desire for healing to minister through prayer. (that is another post for another time)

There have been times of questioning: questioning his own strength, God's character, love and hope. I didn't have the answers then. Now, in retrospect, I think that he wasn't so much looking for answers as he was looking for an avenue in which to vent his anger. He wanted to know that it was ok to cry and that it was ok to yell at God. I am pretty sure God can handle our anger. More than that though, I know that Christ is weeping with J right now. In as much as I feel J's pain, Jesus does even more - and it is breaking His heart. Knowing this, knowing God's heart for J in his suffereing, I just want to cry out, "No matter what season, no matter what circumstance, you are not alone. You are never alone!" Going through stuff like this could easily make one feel like God has abandoned us. I felt that to some extent when we went through the Fall in Alabama. I have heard other Christ-followers speak of the same feeling previously in their life. But what I learned, and what I have heard others echo (usually more eloquently), is that all bad things must come to an end. To everything there is a season, and in that, there is much grace.

In reading Genesis, we read the story about Joseph. Joseph found himself in a position of being lower than low. He was despised by his own brothers. So much so that they plotted to kill him!! They threw him down into a dry pit and were going to leave him there to die. A situation that you think can't get any worse. Then a rope dropped down in the pit. I can only imagine that Joseph thought, "Hope! A way out!" But when Joseph reached the top of the pit, he quickly realized that he was being rescued, only to be sold into slavery!! The story continues with more trials before his life is restored. But through everything, Joseph never lost his hope. He overcame the hoplessness of each situation and became a leader who later saved the lives of the very brothers who tried to destroy him.

Our circumstances can try to destroy us, but this isn't the end. It may seem like you've grabbed onto hope, only to be lifted out of the pit and sold into slavery. But Jesus offers hope for the hopeless, and rest for the weary. For J, the story is not over. It is not easy, but it is not over. God has not forsaken you J - I promise.